The Surviving Bullying Project

Back to the project!

2008-04-16T08:07:00.002-07:00

I got distracted by working on my thesis for a few months, but I'm now back to the project. Transciption. Or maybe transcribing.

Interviews

2007-12-16T21:29:00.000-08:00

The interviews are going well so far. If you have a story to tell about bullying, please contact me.
Thanks.

progress

2007-12-07T20:30:00.001-08:00

I have finished the draft consent form and have several interviews scheduled.
A big thanks to the future interviewees!

Quotation from Card

2007-11-25T10:48:00.000-08:00

"Reach high, for stars lie hidden in you.
Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal."

-Rabindranath Tagore

Workshop Notes

2007-11-24T15:37:00.000-08:00

Here are some notes about collecting stories from the "Recovering the Story from History" on November 24 with Carol Leigh Wehking and Glenna Janzen.
-many different perception and perspectives
-you can string together a series of interesting events and still have a bad story
-putting a human face on it
-cultivate ability to read between the lines of what is already in print
-think about repeating stories/themes after or during the interview
-putting phrases from the interviewee into the story
-respect your sources
-transcribe, let everything cook, and check- modify as necessary
-some kind of problem, resolution and ending
-feeling that it is "a whole story"
-critical- look for incidents, throw up in air- sometimes will become a story or angle
-play with events and incidents
-sometimes you need to manufacture an ending
-as for the ending- if that is not where the story is going, then it won't work as an ending
-naming characters vs. not naming them
-story development: all images in head and put together like puzzle pieces
-phrases, work in sections, start to get those phrases that are making a story
-the senses
-using shapes from a different medium as a model, springboard
-your audience has to be your creative partner
-you do need some images, but you don't need a clutter or images
eg: "the smell of wet wool"
-think about interior as well as exterior landscape
-there are many paths into a story
-have to know the facts and the context
-facts do not always equal the truth

Shaping your story:
-selectivity is the key to creating art from life
know the elements:
-know how and where your story begins
-what is your chief event? conflict or obstacle? resolved or not?
-be sure you know how and where your story ends
-try it out! Tell it, listen to it, shape it, prune it, nurture it!

What piques your interest/inspires you/catches your fancy?

Project Has Begun!

2007-11-20T06:51:00.000-08:00

Yeah! I just recently started a project through the BraveHeart Storytellers Inc. and Manitoba Youth Serves to collect stories from people who have survived bullying experiences. If you have a story to tell, please get in touch with me. I can be e-mailed at surviving.bullying@gmail.com

Inspiring Quotation

2007-10-26T22:14:00.000-07:00

youcanquit.tripod.com/INSPIRING-PHOTO-MD110.jpg

Poem: Here's to the Kids Who are Different

2007-10-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

Kids Who Are Different
by Digby Wolfe

Here's to the kids who are different,
The kids who don't always get A's,
The kids who have ears twice the size of their peers,
And noses that go on for days...

Here's to the kids who are different,
The kids they call crazy or dumb,
The kids who don't fit, with the guts and the grit,
Who dance to a different drum...

Here's to the kids who are different,
The kids with the mischievous streak,
For when they have grown, as history's shown,
It's their difference that makes them unique.

Please Stop Laughing at Me- book review

2007-10-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

Book Review

by Katerie Prior

PLEASE STOP LAUGHING AT ME

by Jodee Blanco

In the aftermath of the Columbine High School shootings in April 2000, many news programs tried to examine the motivations of the teenage shooters. One show interviewed the high school's wrestling team; all repeatedly said they couldn't understand why the teens did what they did, since everyone was so nice at Columbine. Another show interviewed an acquaintance of the shooters, who said they were spit upon, beaten up, and had to hide as they walked to classes. She concluded the interview, saying, "Nobody should be treated like that."

Even as the contrasting interviews aired, hundreds of people visited internet chat rooms and message boards with their own stories of being tormented by bullies and treated like pariahs in school. While the shootings were condemnable, many understood the feelings of hurt, hatred, and rage that came from being the target of bullies. Yet, for all the soul-searching that occurred across the nation, high school shootings still occur and on a wider, yet lesser-known scale, so does bullying.

Perhaps, this is what makes Jodee Blanco's Please Stop Laughing at Me so timely. Now a high-profile publishing executive, Blanco spent her adolescence and teenage years as the victim of her classmates' bullying. Sometimes the kids taunted or threatened her, but most times they physically beat her. While her family, teachers, and even her psychiatrist dismissed it as kids being kids and told her that she would laugh about it someday, Blanco endured extreme humiliation, anger, and sadness at being a school outcast.

Blanco's narrative begins at her high school reunion. Too scared to go in despite her achievements, she remembers being bullied in high school. This leads to Blanco's recollection of when the problems first started. As a fourth grader in a Catholic school, Blanco befriends a handicapped girl and loses her best friend, who threatens her for being nice to the "retard". While there are no immediate repercussions, the next year she sticks up for a group of deaf kids being teased. An only-child who is helpful and smart, Blanco's actions brand her as a tattler and she is taunted for not teasing other people.

At the end of the school year, Blanco's parents switch her to a private school. Everything starts off fine until a friend's boy-girl party turns into a make-out fest. Repulsed, Blanco calls her mother, who in turn angrily tells the host's mother. Again, Blanco is labeled a snitch and the kids she thought were her friends vandalize her things. She finds her shoe laying in a toilet and garbage in her locker. Things escalate when her former friends repeatedly ambush and beat her. When a teacher sees one of these attacks in the school parking lot, instead of punishing the kids, he tells Blanco she should learn to fight her own battles.

Concerned, her parents take her to a child psychiatrist, who prescribes drugs and biofeedback session. It's an interesting, but dark turning point for Blanco who wonders why she is the one who has to see a psychiatrist and nothing happens to her attackers. Blanco switches schools again and faces the same problem. After her initial acceptance, her intelligence and an attempt to stand-up for someone almost make her an outcast. To compensate, Blanco conforms to the whims and demands of her friends. But after she plays a cruel prank on a teacher, her guilt forces her to stop following her friends and instantly she is a social pariah. At the bus stop, she is pelted daily with dirt. When she ignores her tormentors, they throw gravel and eventually wet cement. The attacks escalate until members of the football team throw her on the ground and shove snow down her throat, almost choking her.

Puberty and a different high school make matters worse as Blanco suffers from a rare defect that deforms her breasts, making one noticeably larger than the other. While she succeeds in hiding the problem temporarily, her secret is discovered in gym class. Once the news gets out, the entire class corners her to shout jeers.

Blanco's narrative recalls these incidents in a simple, straight-forward style. Some of her descriptions sound as if they are coming from a diary, but for the most part, Blanco seems to be writing from memory. This makes her snubs, rejections, and physical attacks come alive with her feelings of pain, anger, and white-hot shame.

Naturally, this makes the narrative very subjective, which sometimes undermines the significance of Blanco's message. Her fellow students seem cruel without reason. Her parents simply don't understand her. Her teachers are apathetic. Her psychiatrist is just accusatory. This is a typical viewpoint of only children. While other kids with brothers and sisters are being told by their siblings that they're ugly, stupid, or secretly adopted, only children aren't exposed to this torment, and instead, are the center of their parents' attention. As an only child, Blanco takes to heart any incident where kids make fun of her. A classmate comparing her to a deformed frog during a museum field trip is almost as painful to Blanco as being beaten.

Blanco also never attempts to extrapolate the motivations of her tormentors. People are never bullies for no reason. There could be a million reasons the kids target Blanco - from something as small as trying to hide their own feelings of inadequacy to some kind of abuse at home. But Blanco never seems to explore these issues when she describes the attacks. If the fundamental problem is that bullies and the people who turn a blind eye don't realize that their victims have feelings and just want acceptance, there is also a problem with victims not analyzing the reasoning of their attackers. This could be a pivotal point in Blanco's narrative but it's missed.

But Blanco does recognize when she makes mistakes. Throughout the narrative, she worries about fitting in with the most popular kids in school. She never talks about trying to make friends with "less popular" kids. When Blanco comforts a mentally challenged high school student after being teased by the football team captain, however, she wonders if maybe she is looking for acceptance and friendship in the wrong places. She finds meaning in helping the special education kids organize a senior prom. Later, she becomes friends with Annie, the school's tough girl, who like Blanco, is an outcast looking for acceptance.

There are other bright events in Blanco's narrative. At one of her most hopeless moments, Blanco takes a trip with her family to Greece and makes friends with the village teens despite a language barrier. Later, she gets the opportunity to attend a two-week conference for writing at a local college. There, she meets other kids who are outcasts at school. Both of these incidents show Blanco that there is a much bigger world than the microcosm of high school and give her hope to go on.

Ultimately, this is the point of Blanco's narrative. As the things Blanco faced still go on in schools across America, Please Stop Laughing At Me is a story to motivate its readers. For outcasts, it is a narrative that inspires strength and lets them know that they are not alone. For bullies and their lackeys, it is a wake-up call to see outcasts in a different light. For parents, educators, and child psychiatrists, it is a reminder not to romanticize the very painful social challenges all adolescents and teens face. Hopefully, a serious discussion of events like what Blanco experienced will prevent a tragedy like that at Columbine in another school.

from: http://www.literarypotpourri.com/003_06/br_02.html

On Adversity

2007-10-26T13:34:00.000-07:00

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.
~William Shakespeare, Othello

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!
~Dr. Seuss

We must try not to sink beneath our anguish... but battle on. ~J.K. Rowling

That was rough.... Thing to do now is try and forget it.... I guess I don't quite mean that. It's not a thing you can forget. Maybe not even a thing you want to forget.... Life's like that sometimes... Now and then for no good reason a man can figure out, life will just haul off and knock him flat, slam him agin' the ground so hard it seems like all his insides is busted. But it's not all like that. A lot of it's mighty fine, and you can't afford to waste the good part frettin' about the bad. That makes it all bad.... Sure, I know - sayin' it's one thing and feelin' it's another. But I'll tell you a trick that's sometimes a big help. When you start lookin' around for something good to take the place of the bad, as a general rule you can find it.
~From the movie Old Yeller

http://www.quotegarden.com/adversity.html

On Perseverance

2007-10-26T13:28:00.000-07:00

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Fall seven times, stand up eight.
~Japanese Proverb

The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.
~Author Unknown

If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.
~Flavia Weedn, Flavia and the Dream Maker, © Flavia.com

http://www.quotegarden.com/perseverance.html

On Adversity 2

2007-10-26T13:27:00.000-07:00

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

Turn your wounds into wisdom.
~Oprah Winfrey

When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best.
~Leslie Grossman

When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.
~Barbara Bloom

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
~African Proverb

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
~Friedrich Nietzsche

The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
~John Vance Cheney

A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
~Duke Ellington

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
~Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own, 1929

Convert difficulties into opportunities, for difficulties are divine surgeries to make you better. ~Author Unknown

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.
~Josephine Hart

To have become a deeper man is the privilege of those who have suffered.
~Oscar Wilde

Thorns and stings
And those such things
Just make stronger
Our angel wings.
~Emme Woodhull-Bäche

The course of true anything never does run smooth.
~Samuel Butler

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
~Steven Kloves, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (movie)

Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity is a greater.
~William Hazlitt

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. ~Henry David Thoreau

God gave burdens, also shoulders.
~Yiddish Proverb

It is always in the midst, in the epicenter, of your troubles that you find serenity.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wartime Writings 1939-1944, translated from French by Norah Purcell

An Inspiring Poem by Douglas Mallock

2007-10-26T13:23:00.000-07:00

The tree that never had to fight,

For sun and sky and air and light,

But stood out on the open plain,

And always got it’s share of rain,

Never became a forest king,

But lives and dies a scrawny thing.

The man who never had to toil,

To gain and farm his patch of soil,

Who never had to win his share,

Of sun and sky and light and air,

Never became a manly man,

But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow in ease,

The stronger the wind, the stronger trees

The farther sky, the greater the length

The more the storm, the more the strength,

By sun and cold, by rain and snow,

In tree and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth

We find the patriarchs of both.

And they hold counsel with the stars

Whose broken branches show the scars

This is the common law of life.

Douglas Mallock

Don't Quit, by Jill Wolf

2007-10-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

Don't quit
when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit
over doubts and questions,
For there's something
you may learn.

Don't quit
when the night is darkest,
For it's just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit
when you've run the farthest
For the race is
almost won.

Don't quit
when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don't quit,
for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.

-Jill Wolf

Mother Teresa Quotations

2007-10-26T13:06:00.000-07:00

From Mother Teresa:

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."

"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. "

"The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted."

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop."

"We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do. "

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mother_teresa.html

Surviving Bullying Poem

2007-10-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

"Surviving Bullying"

This is to the terrified
Little girl, sitting on the stairs
Past bedtime.
Unable to take those steps
Into the warm sitting room,
To tell her parents
About the bullying.

No-one in the family
Had ever mentioned it.
Was she alone?
Was it her fault?
Was she weak?

At school,
Friends quickly leaving her,
As the girls said 'Wait for us outside'.
She never did,
She just ran and ran,
Sobbing, alone and humiliated.

Child, I know what is was like,
Scrambling up that cliff face,
Without equipment, advice
Or companionship.
Terrified of staying still
In such a hostile place.
But without the energy or hope
To look upwards, to the future.

Child, if I could sit with you
On those stairs, I'd offer you hope.
I'd ask you to look at me, your future.
The fear which clamped my personality
For so long, has now gone.

And bit by bit I have reclaimed
My life.
And it all started,
When I finally took those few steps
And walked crying into that room,
To tell my parents.

http://www.antibullying.net/ypcantcope.htm#

Pink T-shirt Campaign

2007-10-26T12:48:00.001-07:00

Bullied student tickled pink by schoolmates' T-shirt campaign

Last Updated: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 | 12:25 AM AT

CBC News

Two Nova Scotia students are being praised across North America for the way they turned the tide against the bullies who picked on a fellow student for wearing pink.

The victim — a Grade 9 boy at Central Kings Rural High School in the small community of Cambridge — wore a pink polo shirt on his first day of school.

David Shepherd, left, and Travis Price decided to spread word of their 'sea of pink' campaign on the internet.
(CBC)

Bullies harassed the boy, called him a homosexual for wearing pink and threatened to beat him up, students said.

Two Grade 12 students — David Shepherd and Travis Price — heard the news and decided to take action.

"I just figured enough was enough," said Shepherd.

They went to a nearby discount store and bought 50 pink shirts, including tank tops, to wear to school the next day.

'Sea of pink' support

Then the two went online to e-mail classmates to get them on board with their anti-bullying cause that they dubbed a "sea of pink."

But a tsunami of support poured in the next day.

Not only were dozens of students outfitted with the discount tees, but hundreds of students showed up wearing their own pink clothes, some head-to-toe.

The two Grade 12 students show off the pink shirts they wore to school.
(CBC)

When the bullied student, who has never been identified, walked into school to see his fellow students decked out in pink, some of his classmates said it was a powerful moment. He may have even blushed a little.

"Definitely it looked like there was a big weight lifted off his shoulders. He went from looking right depressed to being as happy as can be," said Shepherd.

And there's been nary a peep from the bullies since, which Shepherd says just goes to show what a little activism will do.

"If you can get more people against them … to show that we're not going to put up with it and support each other, then they're not as big as a group as they think are," he says.

The students' "sea of pink" campaign did not go unnoticed outside the province. U.S. talk show host Ellen DeGeneres expressed interest in their story, and other schools are talking about holding their own "pink day."

"It's been totally overwhelming for us. I mean we're just two local boys and I mean we're getting calls from like Alaska and e-mails. It's just phenomenal the support that we've gotten from across the globe," said Price.

The school principal, understandably, was flush with pride.

"You're always hearing about the youth of the world and how bad things are. Well, they're not that bad," said Stephen Pearl.

The First Post

2007-10-26T12:30:00.000-07:00

I have decided to start a project to collect stories aimed at inspiring children and teens who are experiencing bullying. If you have a story or comment, please let me know.
Thanks!